I've been wanting to write... Really.

I've had a bunch of jumbled thoughts in my head lately. For some reason I just haven't found the will to sit down and sort them all out. I have the means, I have the words.. but, boy the act of sitting in front of the computer just hasn't been my first priority. (Or any priority for that matter)

Summer has finally hit Chicago.. Extremely late. I (still) have to register for my math class. (How I hate thee) I promise to do that on Monday.

I finally joined Bally Total Fitness again. I miss swimming, I miss my twice-a-week yoga, I miss my activity. I finally got a great deal through the mail! Sign up for $15.99 and pay $9.99 a month. No contract at all! I can quit when I want to.

If it's possible, I'm going to try to take the class on Tuesdays and Thursdays. That way I can also go to yoga those days. I can meet up with Sara after class, somewhere in between, do homework with her, go to my yoga class and then head home! If not then I'll figure something out.. Maybe Monday and Wednesday.. I don't know.

I have to meet with an adviser no matter what because I'm on academic probation for failing math the last semester. Also I need to see where I am standing on my credits. Make sure math is one of the final classes I have to take. I meant to go to school on Friday but it was raining and I couldn't find my student ID. I am well known for putting things in different places.. I am not well organized in the slightest.

What else?

I had a great friend Catrin stay at my place for a while. I met her at Gallaudet 10 years ago! On my birthday I met up with her in Chinatown and she was also with Marlon. Marlon was heading back to D.C on Wednesday. I offered Catrin a place to stay until she heads off to Toronto. When I get back to my apartment, I will work on a photo blog and
incorporate some pictures I took while Catrin was staying here.

I'm so jealous of Catrin traveling around to different places that now I feel is the time for me to start working on what to do with my life. I live monthly from hand-to-mouth. It's nothing I'm proud of. Disability wise, it has been difficult. I have a bunch of mad skills with the computer, fluent in American Sign Language, I can build websites and take great pictures. I've also been to college so that gives me some leverage, right?

It's all a work in process.. and more jumbled thoughts.

In other news, I've been in contact with two different doctors. I'm working on getting a type of laser surgery done for my scars from the bacterial meningitis. The scars left over, look like burn scars. With Obama approving funds for medical research and experiments, this is a great time to try to get something done. I might be able to go to Baltimore this fall sometime and get it done for free.

I had a consultation on Monday at Northwestern Memorial in Chicago but because of my insurance not paying for it {they call it a Cosmetic Procedure so they won't pay for it}.. it sounds like it's going to go a little longer in trying to find a trial or something that can help me get it done for free. Where ever I do go for the surgery, it's going to take a very long time. Because it's an experiment, they have to test a tiny area.. if it's successful then they will do a whole arm. And then small areas, then if that's successful, another arm. It's going to be long. My legs are probably going to take the longest. Other than how long it might take, I'm actually excited. It's going to be a very long process because it takes about six months to notice major improvements.

One of my friends thought this would erase my scars. I had to tell her, no that's not going to happen.. it's just going to improve their appearance. They'll be less bumpy, less red.. depending on where it gets done, that area will hopefully improve. I know nothing can ever erase them but improving them will be better.

If you learned anything from this post.. I hope someone comments!

It's Sunday.. and I'm back.

After four days of being in Jacksonville, IL for the 2nd Annual Deaf-Blind retreat, I've spent my Sunday at home... mostly hanging in bed. For four days I had a schedule to follow, things to do, work as an SSP (Support Service Provider), apply techniques and just do the best I can. From 7:30am to 10:30pm everyday I was crazy busy and even though there was a computer in the room, I never touched it. Can you believe it? I never touched it! I used my blackberry of course to talk to my mom and browse twitter but otherwise.. I barely had the energy to do anything more. I remember calling my mom once and leaving her a message and I noticed I sounded exhausted! I made a mental note to never leave a message again or I'd probably worry her.

However, for today, I didn't spend it all in bed. I did go to Walgreens to get my Lyrica because I am officially out and I only had one day left of my Concerta.

It's so weird being home and not really having any plans. Lisa was going to come over but she wanted to give me a day off to myself. How nice of her. I'm grateful for that because I'm just so tired
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I didn't take any pictures while I was at this retreat, unfortunately. I brought my camera to take photos because it was on the list to bring with us but we constantly had things to do, workshops, lunch, interpreting announcements.. It was almost impossible to find a second to take photos! There were a few people around to take photos of activities, workshops, meetings, all sorts of things but otherwise there wasn't any time to do it myself.

When I arrived on Wednesday morning, at some point I heard a message that we were not going to get a certificate to document this experience. I was extremely disappointed. Does that sound selfish? I really wanted something to document this experience so when I try to get a job or try to continue this journey of what I want to be when I grow up, a certificate or official document of some kind would have been helpful. Then one night there was a meeting and someone asked if ALL people - certified interpreters and new SSPs were getting something.. Thankfully the answer was "yes." I couldn't help but clap in relief!

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Now that I'm back, I was sitting in my bed and realized I felt so blah. This is something I need to work on.. hence the reason why I'm writing. I'm trying to get my feelings out either here or on my blackberry in the Notes program because I need to keep track of this.

Before I left I was feeling really depressed. I was having a very hard time snapping out of it. I know snapping out of it is not the best way to go about getting out of it but I didn't want to show up to the retreat looking as awful as I felt. Thankfully being as crazy busy as I was, it helped to get the sadness to go off to the side. I didn't become so self-involved as I felt.
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I'm excited for tomorrow. I get to see Amber Benson for her book signing! I haven't bought her 2nd book yet but tomorrow's signing is for her recent publishing of Death's Daughter.

I will definitely bring my camera for this event!

That's all for now.. please comment???