Yet I just cry about it..

I had the hardest time getting to UIC today.. it was another dr appointment with a different plastic surgeon.

Being hard of hearing is really difficult.. I had a hard time hearing him - what is with these surgeons? Do they get together and work on speaking so terribly? I requested an interpreter when I made this appointment two weeks ago.. And then I sat in the waiting area for over an hour before finally being called in.

I don't know why but the word "defeated" keeps coming to mind and that's not what it is - is it?

The appointment was okay.. as long as I wasn't photographed like I was last time I guess that's a plus. But he basically said that I have to pick one thing that I want to be changed.. the first thing being the "shark bite" in my shoulder.. I don't have any pictures unfortunately.. but if I decide on that then he can go in depth about how he would do this.. What the recovery time would be like.. etc

There were mentions about physical therapy to try to get some muscles in my legs working.. [I think?]

The thing I had a difficult time understanding was not getting at least a general picture of what he could do for me and then zoom in on specific areas.. I just didn't get anything that said "yes I can help you".. it just felt more like "I can't help you."

As soon as the door closed I just started to cry. The nurse was nice to explain what I wasn't getting which was this appointment was like a consult and he could go into more specifics when I pick one thing.

Getting the bus was terrible from downtown. Why the hell the site didn't say to go to Michigan Ave is beyond me - instead it told me to get the #4 at Washington & State. Anyway, getting back home was of course easier than getting there.

After rushing to the Belmont bus, Lisa told me about going to her cousins for some drinking and playing chess. I just didn't want to go.. I was in no mood to be social.. So she came by to get some money and decided to not go to the little gathering anyway and actually let me cry this time.. I told her it did help this time to not be told to 'stop crying' and actually have her hold me and let me vent.

When I finally felt better, we went to Dunkin Doughnuts for a bagel and some pop. I'm running out of money really quickly and that's just depressing.. but I didn't have a lot here anyway.