I'm not going to go through my day because I am pretty tired. However, I did finally send off that shaker for my alarm.. I bought it in October.
The highlight of my day? Bawling my eyes out for at least an hour. Or two.
Going to bed and hoping my Tuesday is better.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Monday, January 3, 2011
New Years
I'm not sleeping really well tonight. I had such a productive Sunday and hoped to sleep through the night. Not really happening the way I'd like right now.
I swear to get up in 4 hours and start my day.
I made a list today while I was drinking coffee. Headed off to Target and was able to pick up a new balance ball and a Pilates DVD. I may not be able to do the exercises today but I'll do it when I get home.
After Target, I went to the Dollar Store and got a few more things off my list. A bath mat to put on the kitchen floor. I make quite a mess when I do my dishes. Some more dish towels. Again, I make a mess out of things while I clean. A manicure set for mom, scrubbing gloves to wear while I shower. They feel really good on my skin when it's all soapy. Water because I was thirsty and I feel like I got one more thing but I can't seem to put my finger on it.
It was really nice to feel a bit more centered and focused this afternoon. Of course, it was cold but I dressed right for it in layers. I just felt really good today. Even though yesterday felt like a bummer because I slept A TON and I felt kind of depressed but I couldn't put my finger on that either. Probably for not getting up when I wanted to.
I'm going to attempt to sleep the last few hours that I can and be hopeful this Monday will go well.
Oh yea, before I forget, I think because I was starving and determined not to order out, I cooked some breaded chicken tonight and peas. Unfortunately I had an anxiety attack that lasted for a while. I really made it through the attack though by cleaning and trying to slow down but the shaking did last for what felt like a long time.
OK, back to bed.
I swear to get up in 4 hours and start my day.
I made a list today while I was drinking coffee. Headed off to Target and was able to pick up a new balance ball and a Pilates DVD. I may not be able to do the exercises today but I'll do it when I get home.
After Target, I went to the Dollar Store and got a few more things off my list. A bath mat to put on the kitchen floor. I make quite a mess when I do my dishes. Some more dish towels. Again, I make a mess out of things while I clean. A manicure set for mom, scrubbing gloves to wear while I shower. They feel really good on my skin when it's all soapy. Water because I was thirsty and I feel like I got one more thing but I can't seem to put my finger on it.
It was really nice to feel a bit more centered and focused this afternoon. Of course, it was cold but I dressed right for it in layers. I just felt really good today. Even though yesterday felt like a bummer because I slept A TON and I felt kind of depressed but I couldn't put my finger on that either. Probably for not getting up when I wanted to.
I'm going to attempt to sleep the last few hours that I can and be hopeful this Monday will go well.
Oh yea, before I forget, I think because I was starving and determined not to order out, I cooked some breaded chicken tonight and peas. Unfortunately I had an anxiety attack that lasted for a while. I really made it through the attack though by cleaning and trying to slow down but the shaking did last for what felt like a long time.
OK, back to bed.
Saturday, December 18, 2010
A different person
I think someone else wrote those entries. I'm reading those entries and pretty much FORGETTING I wrote them in the first place. And It's still 2010?! Those entries feel like a different lifetime ago.
It's been a long year and I'm only 30. Been going to the same group (mentioned somewhere down the line.).. I'm hoping this will be over with early of next year. I mean, really.
I do need to do a million things for 2011. Gosh. 2011. Another year.
It's been a long year and I'm only 30. Been going to the same group (mentioned somewhere down the line.).. I'm hoping this will be over with early of next year. I mean, really.
I do need to do a million things for 2011. Gosh. 2011. Another year.
Monday, May 17, 2010
Let's Go Ride A Bike
There's a wonderful blog called Let's Go Ride A Bike. It's based on well, bike riding but also doing it in fashion. I'm not much of a fashionista but I at least try to go in comfort.
Today I thought I looked pretty cute but alas, I don't have a picture of myself. I wore jeans, a red belt with skulls on it, sandals and a gray long sleeve shirt. The best thing about it? My new hair cut was behaving in cute curls.
Today's weather was actually really nice in a comfortable way. But a bit cloudy so not many bikers out. I did go on a new path. Actually I'd been on it before but I haven't been on all of it in a long time.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIf0oxeZ_zobWIwfU1weNUkrivnbLAzVbWrDfnrYR4I7gNmgG95rPCp5qPNEDowEo1WIXXIrVL6YVu70kw5wm4-kpSZQLGEGiCnW2vKT4V8ZyR5IkbgZ99fC-c-79Ufi279-XucgHjyzJx/s200/DSCF0017.JPG)
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzV6CPF-gwLcQraIGHUaYMPSKoqVwWV2Lx41mWUGDTrWu_vNoT6Q5xewGMVLq8A_ciF73CRvyMK5CoGqrmHF5JRzwgn-n5xQE8IRpKdBYCJwi41wdUVGM2xvmI9vCO1l1E1uPikveJ9Nfk/s200/DSCF0004.JPG)
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivtWrbk5oKwBcMkdWl9SPMUsuzW1CVf9aEJUgiDSnTkRxR2A7NQZy7RKNOfj_SMPzHxugpxJRmPhr5H_8Qp6P-fb7K4UYH5tZQ5dLB2oxZDu5cdop1FuMld62e_9UBsBz-1zrGIxz6DQ86/s200/DSCF0001.JPG)
The one thing I'm glad I finally did was take my camera with me. I haven't done that in so long and it is something I do enjoy. I even tried to take a few photos while I was riding which was quite a challenge for me!!
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJtOdVTlsn6SJ6oVr2QgoGWWIdbxcJVtaZyVdJIaTl_4h8mgcIqXa7tz1CUAmnDn-sMNUXv_Z-ky4G92zhvyiEdwTKtrKYOeuxsn2Y70ZBqEEahk2wbw3mkxnNyNJygDDiHnMwhQVJ5TOG/s200/DSCF0039.JPG)
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiu1dh03ZEX2q24ZGZgd27inHB9_IN1TBeV22B3zcKsxF-wTYsS986MJUtlHGcaH9Yr4ZlfMa3qUfc8dlq2PS_8fSVafuqdlQ09hDSBPStSO8suxuL-nE6w_Yncmp9BI4xjP-Kaon9Vk7i/s200/DSCF0036.JPG)
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0sjHmGR_8YcaMlcxoU0vM1gaFcKUsCn_T4LkArn6DJ6rKz38dxqrpOJwwEsv-yAdKpJXtHZ47TeFYhRTGOnZMEM6md1SjN5dDNd9lWXtQPCTsYbs5FVvBiwWZLGLVCGqFA_ggOjXdhb63/s200/DSCF0041.JPG)
[{I'm hoping to go out more often and meet other bikers. I'm so sick of hiding.}]
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcZbN0rA1tv-teJhkFDp9AN2hfQdeYKGMG4zbsX9q8EYRBKmhZmyorngAqsaSnvu1vxGsnIeOJNbaFz28GPcgoWYNwpJbjDieefjOo2faqcak_JOwJbJPKlQXCEeuS0FVgWf46wCjL_tno/s200/DSCF0011.JPG)
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhykXL0YHNayjR5BviyYUlUb-nW6BbvtUX-7VnCHbhhKBq48AP8f3KZ4Mzb3JavZpW4hjUzvvS6zDo63JdzK6be1rxQvvkyYka_kq7bc9mVWfpyYwOjOO4RhcRApURw9Ft6N1TJ8W46z9NW/s200/DSCF0007.JPG)
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4YIJn2NNoSj-7ZHHPUHksAIWK-4flyf3M96b1z_3Ul7RRsohxkx-Q_4s_GDW5R9wswEPw9iwe5f2crkRVjo_UKgEkLLLVw288uRc9MDm39sw6uNb4kzZxMWGSJx53t1hlBUKCxHN_37zM/s200/DSCF0053.JPG)
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5-mDZavWs1zIjvt7_kNIl9dhNQzbeUB6BVo8GDwIYc1UOi6_2m9RWwWi2BgWnQamUjj9dfwaAwT1u7mIclpE3byt_7alS0ZviMMegxmcShFA9A4irRuRRYs6JQahY6zEhrpAB9nep1re1/s200/DSCF0045.JPG)
Today I thought I looked pretty cute but alas, I don't have a picture of myself. I wore jeans, a red belt with skulls on it, sandals and a gray long sleeve shirt. The best thing about it? My new hair cut was behaving in cute curls.
Today's weather was actually really nice in a comfortable way. But a bit cloudy so not many bikers out. I did go on a new path. Actually I'd been on it before but I haven't been on all of it in a long time.
The one thing I'm glad I finally did was take my camera with me. I haven't done that in so long and it is something I do enjoy. I even tried to take a few photos while I was riding which was quite a challenge for me!!
[{I'm hoping to go out more often and meet other bikers. I'm so sick of hiding.}]
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Lots of stuff...
Currently there's some kid SCREAMING... Oh wait she stopped for now.
Right now I'm hanging out at the good ol' Apple store on Michigan Avenue. Man, I want one of these fancy smancy machines!!
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzbV9k8VlDTtrNE_xGXgRcNYWY6KAQUctNyZLtY0ETUhC1OCB7Ch9cY-fMmlXS3LNric1FioJDIfKaKuRnfCWQMebaMifM-l1WLw51VEL9zA9aKtt4d9RYg0cUFMsC5OW8WXjGINttjGQq/s200/Photo+on+2010-03-18+at+11.41+%232.jpg)
Anyway, I've had a ton going on lately. I was in an accident the other day. All is well, I'm fine. I don't have any marks thankfully! I expected a big bruise on my forehead but nothing!
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqj1QsJV1AOFYJq1dg49o3X0fc9pK1YNq8hofAmJJnEQlX4_hOt0n9OsNCRrZmCmyAeZ17KxmfdBYVynrlLnud3A3Eahep-klYPNY1fmLipG7LVumCrpS5XD9YXdRvgq-wMntP0jZVCxuP/s200/x2_df2e2d.jpeg)
I've been at Northwestern Memorial Hospital that's behind the Apple store since 9am. I had one cup of coffee from Au Bo Pan.. I don't know how to spell it but I also got a Pecan Roll. Yum yum. I'll enjoy that in a little bit. Silly me, I forgot to pack myself a lunch.
My health is fine for the most part. I'm finally exercising a bit more. I went swimming on Monday, that felt really good. I even did some running in the water and that really got my skin warm. On Tuesday, I was supposed to go to Physical Therapy but I didn't because of the accident. So I went home and conked out for four hours! I just wanted a short nap. Therefore, sleeping Tuesday night wasn't all the smooth.
Wednesday I took it easy since the junk in my chest was bothering me as well as my back.
Today is my doctor appointment.. and eventually physical therapy and THEN.. yoga.
I'm so proud of myself for following through most of my scheduled activities because I tend to easily turn it down. I'll make some sort of excuse and not follow through. Which then leads to tons of guilt when I go to bed. I'll toss and turn because I didn't do what I said I would do. I'm really working on changing that this year.
I took some pictures of my recent meal creations. Those photos are on my camera and I haven't uploaded them yet.
I have to head back to the hospital at 1:30 and I'm already restless. The joys of coffee! I didn't drink some when I got up, I actually didn't feel like making it! How crazy is that??
I'll update more as things come along.
Right now I'm hanging out at the good ol' Apple store on Michigan Avenue. Man, I want one of these fancy smancy machines!!
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzbV9k8VlDTtrNE_xGXgRcNYWY6KAQUctNyZLtY0ETUhC1OCB7Ch9cY-fMmlXS3LNric1FioJDIfKaKuRnfCWQMebaMifM-l1WLw51VEL9zA9aKtt4d9RYg0cUFMsC5OW8WXjGINttjGQq/s200/Photo+on+2010-03-18+at+11.41+%232.jpg)
Anyway, I've had a ton going on lately. I was in an accident the other day. All is well, I'm fine. I don't have any marks thankfully! I expected a big bruise on my forehead but nothing!
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqj1QsJV1AOFYJq1dg49o3X0fc9pK1YNq8hofAmJJnEQlX4_hOt0n9OsNCRrZmCmyAeZ17KxmfdBYVynrlLnud3A3Eahep-klYPNY1fmLipG7LVumCrpS5XD9YXdRvgq-wMntP0jZVCxuP/s200/x2_df2e2d.jpeg)
I've been at Northwestern Memorial Hospital that's behind the Apple store since 9am. I had one cup of coffee from Au Bo Pan.. I don't know how to spell it but I also got a Pecan Roll. Yum yum. I'll enjoy that in a little bit. Silly me, I forgot to pack myself a lunch.
My health is fine for the most part. I'm finally exercising a bit more. I went swimming on Monday, that felt really good. I even did some running in the water and that really got my skin warm. On Tuesday, I was supposed to go to Physical Therapy but I didn't because of the accident. So I went home and conked out for four hours! I just wanted a short nap. Therefore, sleeping Tuesday night wasn't all the smooth.
Wednesday I took it easy since the junk in my chest was bothering me as well as my back.
Today is my doctor appointment.. and eventually physical therapy and THEN.. yoga.
I'm so proud of myself for following through most of my scheduled activities because I tend to easily turn it down. I'll make some sort of excuse and not follow through. Which then leads to tons of guilt when I go to bed. I'll toss and turn because I didn't do what I said I would do. I'm really working on changing that this year.
I took some pictures of my recent meal creations. Those photos are on my camera and I haven't uploaded them yet.
I have to head back to the hospital at 1:30 and I'm already restless. The joys of coffee! I didn't drink some when I got up, I actually didn't feel like making it! How crazy is that??
I'll update more as things come along.
Monday, March 15, 2010
Emotions.
A few emotions came up today during my morning group that I've been going to for a few months.
The leader was mentioning certain events coming up. One she announced was a social for deaf GLBT. That alone upset someone in the group. That person just didn't want to hear anything about GLBT. They kept making it known. It really upset me. Apparently this person has a tendency to be paranoid.
The second announcement was a different event and trying to figure out where it was. It was noted that it was near where Kiddie Land was, even though it's been shut down but it's very close to that location. That just brought up some painful memories. Yes, it's sad that Kiddie is no longer there but the last time I went there was after I was punched by my ex. I was in such a fog of emotions that day. I'll probably never forget it.
I bought a t-shirt from Hot Topic last night that I can't wait to wear with PRIDE. I'm embracing who I am slowly but surely. It certainly makes me feel better in more ways than one. I'll have to take a picture of myself when I get it in the mail to show it off.
I'll relax and find a way to let off some steam. I'll go swimming later. I have to get my stuff since I didn't bring it with me this time. I meant to but I was in a hurry to making it to group on time.
The leader was mentioning certain events coming up. One she announced was a social for deaf GLBT. That alone upset someone in the group. That person just didn't want to hear anything about GLBT. They kept making it known. It really upset me. Apparently this person has a tendency to be paranoid.
The second announcement was a different event and trying to figure out where it was. It was noted that it was near where Kiddie Land was, even though it's been shut down but it's very close to that location. That just brought up some painful memories. Yes, it's sad that Kiddie is no longer there but the last time I went there was after I was punched by my ex. I was in such a fog of emotions that day. I'll probably never forget it.
I bought a t-shirt from Hot Topic last night that I can't wait to wear with PRIDE. I'm embracing who I am slowly but surely. It certainly makes me feel better in more ways than one. I'll have to take a picture of myself when I get it in the mail to show it off.
I'll relax and find a way to let off some steam. I'll go swimming later. I have to get my stuff since I didn't bring it with me this time. I meant to but I was in a hurry to making it to group on time.
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