finally a good sunday start off.

I couldn't sleep last night.. not too much of a reason.. OK other than the unexpected drama from one of the people in my building, it wasn't really that keeping me up. It was certainly the full moon and I had too much pop so..

The point is, instead of tossing around for the entire day, I decided to go for a workout. I biked to Bally - a good 30 minutes, then did my weights on the machines, then walked around a little.. After all of that, I biked home. I should be conked out for a nap now but.. I don't think I will. Who knows.

I'm just glad I spent a Sunday working out instead of sulking inside doing the other things I will no doubt be tending to today... like homework for instance.

I have to write a lab summary, chapter review, get started on some papers.. watch Sweet Nothing In My Ear with Lisa. OK that's not homework but I am looking forward to that - as well as VP'ing with KAREN! I haven't seen or spoken to her for a LONG time.. Karen was an assistant coach at Gallaudet when I was on the Cross Country team and a very frequent visitor when I was in the hospital back in 2001-2002.

OK. Mind is blank. OH wait --- I went to see The Blue Man Group on Friday night! I loved it! I'd totally go again!

Hormonal? Possibly, maybe.

Yesterday I just finished my 10 day birth control and today.. I cried. I failed my third Physical Science exam. I did not intend on crying in the slightest but when trying to figure out why I'm doing so terrible on these tests seem to fall on deaf ears. I kept telling him "I'm not a science nerd but between the book, your lectures and the CD [that comes with the book] and these tests, nothing seems to match." He just eventually told me that each question is in the book. Confused, slightly, I told him there aren't any multiple choice questions in the book.. He never makes a study guide.. he thinks it's equivalent to his "free answers" in class.

Otherwise, he thought I was pushing myself too hard during my crying fit. I repeated my question for like the third time about some 30 points he's not been clear on.. only to finally have it pointed out that it's 2 chapters from the book. Oh. That. Plus I'll have the two summaries that I'll be working on this week. That's another 20 points.. to get a C in this class.. I need to get like 150 on the final. I can't get past 43 on the last three exams and I need an extra 100 points to make it on the final? Are ya kidding me!?

I tried getting a study session with the smart ass in the class.. It's a science nerd thing - they just say yes or no for an answer but that doesn't help me. I need background help - I don't know why it's that answer.. and she looks at me with some weird expression like I'm responding to her in sign language.

So to make my day not even the slightest bit better, my sign language interpreter can't show up for my math class. And there's no sub.. I can hear my teacher but I can't always understand him due to his accent.

We have a math quiz on Wednesday so hopefully I'll do OK.

Here's hoping tomorrow is better...

Busy life

I've been working really hard at keeping up with school the last few weeks. My Humanities teacher seems to like throwing in last minute "summary" assignments which makes it a little frustrating when we have other classes to keep on top of. But that is life of course. My math class is doing good.. I failed a recent quiz in math because I didn't do some of the homework which I'm fine with since I'm sure to not fail this class.

Stuff with my mom is chaotic.. I envy people who have good relationships with their parents. You're lucky to be so close to them and be as open to them. I was never too close to my parents.. my mom drinks and relapsed when I was 15. But before then, I was pretty close to her in general terms of trust. Then I had some great close moments with my beloved dad when he stayed with me at the hospital during the time I was sick.

Enough of that.. Today was good.. I didn't go outside though but I got mostly my science homework done.. I still need to do some math and humanities stuff.. but I'm feeling really weird so maybe I need a big computer break.

One of these days I should post pictures.. I'm sure that would be more entertaining!

Focus again.

It's so great that one session with a therapist can make a big difference. Friday I didn't do any homework.. Saturday night I got little bit of math done.. and some science as well, so it's nice to feel "sane" enough to do some homework. :)

Now I'm tired because I bought this new knitting loom thing to try to make a blanket.. or a scarf.. whatever. It took me a while to get the hang of it but I think I'm getting it! I just don't like that it's rolling up on the way out.. I'll have to take pictures tomorrow and post them to give an idea of what I'm talking about.

I'm just feeling better, it's a good thing.

Stressful, Long Week

I'm not going to go into too many details.. but I did have a really long week. By Wednesday night I felt like I've gone crazy. Oddly enough, no crying happened this week so consider it a good thing. I've just been feeling so out of control - spring break just wasn't long enough! I made it to most my classes but just had way too many moments where nothing felt OK. By Wednesday afternoon, all I could think about was getting home and staying in bed.. Thursday I made it to class, was a few minutes late but I made it.. I certainly kept my promise to myself to make it to my classes! I just couldn't focus on anything.. Luckily I had a great therapy session where I was able to vent all of my frustrations and she told me what I already knew but it seriously helps to actually hear it too. It's basically telling me I can't control everything and I shouldn't try.. and the fact that I haven't done any homework this week, it's OK. It's OK because tomorrow is another day. So.. today I felt pretty good for once! Tired strangely, but better than the four days before.

Other than that, I am seriously hoping for a good nights sleep, get up early, head out to a library maybe so my friend and I can get another museum card.. If no one has any then... I'll go by myself..

First Workout

I met with the trainer today.. I'm glad I went! It really helped solve some things and get me motivated to keep it up.. Now I just have to incorporate good foods and sleep.. and homework.

Ha,my legs are SORE. That was the first notion of pain.. it's a good pain of course.

Such a Mess

I hate having a cold that just feels like crap.. Last night was worse. I attempted to go out for a long walk but once I made it to Western, I just felt crappy. So I went to browse around Toys R Us, then thought about ordering Chinese and instead went to Dominicks, got a nice salad, Pita chips and some garden vegatable hummus. Made my way home and on the way there just felt more and more tired - like I'm just folding over. I can't bear to stand up straight and I just want to lay down. Finally got to my apartment, dropped my stuff, sat on the floor and ate. By the time I finished, I had a lovely headache, put on some Gilmore Girls on my computer and fell asleep.

By the way, before deciding to skip class because I suck at everything else as a college student, I enrolled in a Bank of America checking and savings account.

Today I woke up late, dragged my sorry ass out of bed, took a cab.. I made it to my science class and I could not focus on anything. I was so mentally gone today.. me and this other girl just copy off the girl that sits between us because I just suck. That's my word today. Suck. I might use that word so much that it will loose all meaning to you and anyone else that reads this.

At the moment as I'm updating this, I'm also doing a relay call with social security to let them know of my new checking account info.. and I'm going to wait til after the third of next month to make sure everything runs smoothly.. plus I'll have to call Bally after they take out this months payment.. all is fun really.

Anyway, I'm done with that call and now I need to just go away before my math class... At least the weather is getting better for once!